Friday, May 12, 2006
I have taken the first step to forget our past. Forgetting our past as in to be able to put down and move on, I still wanna keep the memories we had together as you are the only guy who suits me most if you CAN commit. But you can't.
I deleted all the messages he send me, MOST of the pictures we took together and had kept all the neoprints in an album which I rarely touch. I just wanna have you in my sweet memories but not a cause to my sorrow I am in now.
I know I did things that made you feel guilty towards me. Pardon me for doing that as I wanna make myself feel better. I'm selfish, but who isn't? I believe yyou are too, getting in and out a relationship within 2 weeks. I remember you telling me that you did not want to get into a relationship in your 3-yrs of poly life. And I asked you why are you together with me then? You didn't really answer the question.
From what I see, you fall for me that's why you profess to me and we being together. However, because of you afraid to commit into this relationship you hope we just remain as good friends. This is you being selfish. But now then you realise I'm so attached to you, it's not your fault too. I never very press you to do thing if you refuse too. You choose soccer over me but I never complain, I know you had give in to me in some ways too. I'm thankful about that.
If you happen to read this post, I wanna let you know you have been great for that 2 weeks quite constantly providing me with attention and had always been so hugging and snuggly for me. When we meet, you can always give me those moist kisses and warm hugs. All and all, you still broke my heart.
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Hope this will never happen to the other girls you will meet in your life.
Bring me up &never put me down.
