Thursday, May 11, 2006
We split ways on 9 may.
Just a short period of 2weeks but my feelings for him are stronger than what I thought. I'm too attached to him and over-dependent on him which is a grave mistake I made.
The day he told me he likes me, I was so so happy as I finally find someone whom I have feelings for and he has the same feeling towards me. Without hesitation I just allow myself to sink into this sea. Now that I realise I have sink too deep in, it's too late. It's so hurting to let him go, without him by my side, for me to hug and kiss.
He really should not have started all this, it's always the girls on the losing end. My friend told me about having a no status relationship with him but NO, I don't think I can do it. I just wanna be his good friend that's all. No more hard feelings and such stuff.
I realise I'm the kind of girl who can't be ignored, I need constant attention from my guy. I need constant assurance that he's heart is always with me. I need a guy which can announce our relationship to all. I need a guy who can go into long-term relationships, not afraid to be tied down and commit totally into our relationship.
I was already prepared to commit, giving him more time than I give to my friends but he dissapoint me in the end. Now that we borke up and he giving me reasons like he's afraid to commit and stuff like it was a crush rather than love, I being to wonder if he's cheating my feelings. I making assumptions and hope that is never true.
All I can do now is cry out to the maximum tonight and be back to my usual self from tomorrow onwards. I don't wanna suffer like this, I look so ugly with a swollen eye and a red nose. I will take this as a lesson and really, this is a hard hit.
I will never wanna put in so much feelings for anyone till everything is stable.I maybe selfish, but I don't want to get hurt anymore.I'm gald I have freinds that really stand by me no matter what. They are the one I need most now. Thanks to joyce, baby, FM, rudy, pris, YQ and many others. I think my love should go to you guys rather than him. Your are my babies.
